


Someone Special

by heavenindaylight



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Christmas, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23700238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenindaylight/pseuds/heavenindaylight
Summary: At Christmas, Darvey have drinks and exchange gifts and emotions are shared (pre-canon). Originally written for the Secret Santa exchange 2019.
Relationships: Donna Paulsen & Harvey Specter, Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Kudos: 5





	Someone Special

PROMPT: (Pre-canon, post-Paula) Christmas; Darvey have drinks and exchange gifts, emotions are shared; rating and whether they get together is up to the author

* * *

_In life, there is always that special person who shapes who you are, who helps to determine the person you become._   
_\- Molly Ringwald_

.

.

The New York skyline was particularly calming this evening. It had started to snow halfway through the day, and it seemed like the city knew Christmas was just around the corner. Harvey had never been particularly fond of the holidays, his strained relationship with his mother a huge factor. But now, after he and Lily had reconnected, he was actually looking forward to celebrating in Boston with his family. He’d planned to bring Paula, but since her ultimatum and everything that unraveled after, he was traveling solo. Probably for the best, he thought to himself, as he sipped away at his second glass of scotch.

He wasn’t sure if she’d show. It was tradition, their tradition, but he was afraid that the events of the past months might’ve taken too much a toll on their relationship, even though they’d agreed that everything was back to normal. Whatever the hell that meant.

As he downed the last drops, he felt her presence behind him. She was standing in the doorway of his office, her eyes fixed at the back of his head, his still looking at Manhattan. He couldn’t see her, but he knew. She had a way of affecting him like that.

“I wasn’t sure you–”

“Wasn’t sure I what?” she smirked, as he turned around in his office chair. His brown orbs met her hazel ones. “You weren’t sure I’d show up?” she continued, waving around two boxes wrapped in beautiful paper and ribbons. She was wrapped in a dress matching the holiday season, deep green bringing out the gold flecks in her eyes. It was the same dress she wore the day after all hell broke loose. He loved that color on her.

“It’s tradition, Harvey! Of course I’d show. You, me, exchanging gifts the day before Christmas. As if I’d ever miss that,” she said excitedly, giving him the look, her look, as she walked over to the leather couch with a spring in her step Harvey hadn’t seen in a while.

He stood up from his chair to get a refill, and to bring her a drink as well. He didn't have to ask. He knew she wanted one. After all, it was tradition. As he sat back down in the chair beside her, handing over her glass, he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“What?” she eyed him.

“I... “ he replied, shaking his head in amusement. “It’s just funny to me that you find this so exciting.”

“Why?”

“You know why,” he said, now fully laughing. “It’s not like you don’t know what you’re getting.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “So?”

“So... I don’t understand why you get so excited about it, seeing you already know what’s inside. You did buy it yourself, after all,” he replied, as he took another sip to warm his throat.

She turned her body towards him, as if to give him a lecture on the obvious; “I may know what I’m getting, but you don’t. I’m excited about your reaction when you get to see what you got me.”

If he didn’t know any better, he could’ve mistaken her for flirting with him. She wasn’t though. She couldn’t be.

“Right...” he said, eyes fixed on the glass in his hands, hoping the darkness of the room hid the flush of pink suddenly coloring his face.

She gave him the smaller box, signaling for him to open his gift. It had the same shape as the one he got last year and every year before. “You first.”

He opened it, fully knowing what she’d got him. As he removed the paper and the ribbons, his eyes fell on the well-know gift box housing his New York Knicks front row season pass. It was the best and most appreciated gift he got every year. Not only because of what it was, but because she gave it to him.

“Don’t look so surprised,” she teased, poking his side with her beautifully manicured hands.

He smirked, finding her eyes needing her to know how greatly he appreciated the gesture. “Thank you, Donna. I mean it. I may not be surprised, but it’s still the best gift I get every year, and the one I look most forward to open.”

His sudden honesty made her stomach flutter. She wasn’t expecting his words, nor her own reaction. She had to fend it off before he sensed the change in her.

“I hope you look forward to using it as well”, she said, trying to hide the tension forming in her throat.

“I will,” he assured. “I’ll be sure to take you once or twice this year, if you want. Help me sign a few of those bastards. After all, you’re the one who closed Michael,” he flirted, testing the waters to see if things truly were back to normal between them.

“Ha,” she laughed. “As fun as that would be, me knowing absolutely nothing about the game of basketball, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to sit front row at a Knicks game, knowing there’s a kiss cam out there ready to atta—”

She swallowed hard as she realized what she’d just said. Their eyes met, the air pressing as tension filled the room. His jaw clenched, but she couldn’t figure out if he was turned on, or pissed off. It could be either one, really. And the last thing she wanted was to start a fight. The silence was deafening.

“Anyway... My turn.” She grabbed her present as she gave him a soft smile, as if to apologize for dipping her foot into waters where she wasn’t welcome. If only she knew how welcome she was, Harvey thought. But there was no point in telling her that. She didn’t feel anything.

She started unwrapping her present with such vigour, he couldn’t resist saying something.  
“Could you be more excited,” he teased, rolling his eyes at her but secretly enjoying the view.

“It’s Christmas, Harvey. Don’t be such a Grinch...” she threw back, laughter filling her voice.

As the wrapping came undone and her eyes fell on the Tiffany blue box, excitement filled her eyes like nothing he’d ever seen before. But when she opened the box, her whole body froze, eyes widening as if she had just seen her gift for the very first time. Harvey smirked, amused by her reaction.

“Harvey…” she croaked, her voice low for him only.

“Donna…” he replied, a chuckle leaving him.

“What did you do?”

“What,” he scoffed, trying to hide how nervous he really felt. “I may or may not have made a phone call to make a few alterations to the gift you picked out,” he said, eyes roaming her features to see if he’d made the right call.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, lifting the white gold jewellery box out of the case it came in. A sensible choice, she’d thought. He’d given her so much exquisite jewellery throughout the years, she needed somewhere equally beautiful to keep everything.

It was the same one she’d picked out online and reserved to collect already wrapped the day after. But instead of the smooth golden surface she’d expected, the lid was now graced with four engraved circles, each housing several tiny diamonds varying in size. Under each circle was a date, and her eyes pooled when it suddenly dawned on her what it all meant. “This—”

“—is the day you came to work on my desk.” Harvey said pointing at the circle to the far left. “The second one is when you came with me to the firm. The third is the day you came back after working for Louis. And this...” he said, finger hovering over the last one, dated just a few months back in time.

“Is the day I resigned.”

“I like to think of it as the day you decided to stay, even though I didn’t deserve it,” Harvey replied earnestly, his eyes finding hers. “And I never really thanked you for it.”

“You didn’t have to,” Donna said, trying to hide the slight shiver in her voice.

“Yeah, i did.”

“Okay, you did,” she laughed, looking back at the jewellery box in her hands. “But you didn’t have to do this.”

“No, but I wanted to.”

Their eyes met, an appreciative smile spreading across Donna’s face. “And these,” she asked, pointing at the diamonds gracing the golden surface. “What’s the story behind those?”

He smiled at her, slightly terrified to answer her question. “Well… Uhm… They are star constellations. Each circle reflecting the sky on those four nights.”

Donna gasped as tears threatened to spill, flutters in her stomach travelling south, all the while cursing herself for letting him affect her this way and getting so emotional. Cursing him for being so goddamn perfect. All she wanted was to show him how freakin’ perfect he was. But she couldn’t let her mind go there, she couldn’t allow herself to. He’d asked her not to. It was a sure way of drowning, and she had to stay afloat.

“Wow… I don’t know what to say” she finally spoke, trying to swallow her emotions as best she could.

“A ‘thank you’ would suffice,” he chuckled, happy to see the gift had the intended effect on her.

“Thank you, Harvey. It’s beautiful.” Their eyes met in a pressing silence. She wondered if this was it, if this was the moment to address the lines still blurred between them. But he broke it.

“I am a great gift giver, you know—”

“Don’t push it, Harvey!” she chuckled, slapping his arm. So fucking typical. Him bailing out when things got too intense.

Harvey went to get them both some more scotch, he nearing his limit, she too far away from it. As he poured their glasses to the brim, her voice sliced through the silence.

“So… are you going to Boston this year,” she asked, trying to lighten the mood and lift the heaviness that still lingered.

“Yeah, I am. Taking the train tomorrow morning.”

“First Christmas with your family, in how many years?”

“I stopped counting”

“How do you feel about it?”, she asked. About me, what she really wondered. The alcohol was starting to take control of her mind.

“Ambivalent,” he admitted. “I don’t really know what to expect. They have all these traditions now that I’ve never been a part of, never cared to be a part of, because I didn’t know they wanted me to. I guess I’m nervous they’re gonna make a big deal out of it. Like ‘The Prodigal Son’ or some other bullshit.”

“I doubt they’ll do that, but I get it,” Donna chuckled. “At least you’re celebrating with people who love you. You won’t be alone. That’s something.”

“I will be alone though” he said, more as an afterthought than a reply.

“How so?”

“I’ll be the only one celebrating without someone special. I was going to bring Paula, but considering…” he didn’t finish his sentence, she heard him loud and clear.

“Oh… Right. Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Donna bit her tongue. The fact that he’d planned to bring her. To Boston, celebrating Christmas with his family, as a family. That hurt. More than she liked to admit.

“It’s okay, you couldn’t have know. Besides, what’s done is done. No need to dwell on it.”

“But I am sorry, Harvey. I don’t think I ever really apologized to you for how things ended with her,” she said, regret filling her voice.

“Don’t be, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Wasn’t it though?” she said, her eyes finding solace in the brown liquor between her hands.

“Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t,” he scoffed.

“At least I feel like I’m somewhat to blame.” It was the truth, she felt guilty. She didn’t regret the outcome, but hurting him in the process wasn’t something she was too proud of.

“If someone’s to blame, it’s me. For not seeing things clearly. Sooner.”

She eyed him, giving him a knowing look.

“What,” he asked.

“I didn’t say anything,” she scoffed, a slight smirk on her face.

“Yeah, but you thought it.”

“So did you, apparently,” she chuckled.

“So... We agree on something?”

Donna nodded slowly, biting her lip as her intoxicated eyes found his. She could swear his orbs had taken a detour between the valley of her breasts. They did every now and then, but tonight his eyes had lingered. She swallowed hard as she cleared her throat.

“Good,” Harvey finally said, giving her his signature smirk.

“Good,” Donna replied, as her mouth met her glass again.

They sat in silence, her mind wandering through the memories of what had been, what could’ve been and what could be. She usually tried to avoid it, but in moments like this, with him in such close proximity, affecting her in ways she didn’t care to admit, her mind went places her will couldn’t control. And the growing heat between her legs had apparently no plan of subsiding. Fuck. She threw back the remains of her glass, appreciating the soothing sensation the alcohol had on her rapidly beating heart.

“Have I lost you,” he suddenly asked.

“What,” she choked. Did he just?

“It just felt like I lost you for a moment there,“ he chuckled. “You seemed so deep in thoughts. Anything you want to share?”

She swallowed hard again, trying to hide the the slight flush on her face, as well as her disappointment for ever thinking he would ever venture into that.

“Oh… Nothing really,” she replied. “Just some Christmas memories that popped into my mind”. She hated lying to him, but she had to protect her heart. So she came up with a half-ass excuse. At least it was probable.

“I should go. I have to wake up early tomorrow morning myself,” she said, suddenly shifting in her seat, also relieving some of the building pressure.

“Right,” Harvey hawked.

“Thank you Harvey, for everything. This was nice.” She gave him a loving, but distant look.

As she rose to her feet, Harvey’s voice stopped her again. “Before you go, Donna, I have something else for you.”

Donna’s stomach took a salto at his words, as her bewildered eyes met his. “Wasn’t that jewellery box enough? Anything more and one could mistake you for trying to woe me,” she flirted, knowing she was walking a thin line, the alcohol speaking on her behalf.

“It’s not from me,” he said, Donna’s shoulders falling in slight disappointment.

“Oh, I—”

“Well not initially, anyway. I was given it, to give to you,” he continued, his hand scraping the back of his neck. Donna thought he looked a bit nervous.

“What is it?” she asked, her brows furrowed.

“Nothing major,” Harvey replied as his eyes landed on a big rectangular package, all clad in brown wrapping paper. Her eyes followed his, and she couldn’t believe she hadn’t spotted it before.

“Nothing major? Harvey, that’s huge,” she giggled, not sure if he was kidding or not.

“Well, don’t make to much of it, is what I’m saying. It’s just a little something.”

He’s definitely nervous, she thought. “Okay...” she dragged her words, as she moved towards the item in question.

“You should wait and open it when you’re back home. Easier to carry when it’s wrapped up,” he reasoned.

She didn’t buy it. He didn’t want her to open it in front of him. She could tell. “Okay,” she replied, “but at least you can be a gentleman and help me get it into a cab.”

“We’ll drive you home. Ray is still on call.”

“It’s the day before Christmas, Harvey! You’ve got to give the man some slack. He does have a family you know,” she laughed, shaking her head in amusement as they gathered their things and headed for the elevators.

.

.

Twenty minutes later the car stopped outside her building. Harvey got out fast as lightning, opening her door before she’d even had time to unbuckle. They’d gotten all her belongings out of the car, and he’d insisted to help her carry them all the way up to her apartment. No room for arguments.

Placing the bigger present on the floor of her hallway, he was reminded he hadn’t been inside her apartment in what seemed like forever. It dawned on her as well as their eyes met in a moment too intense, both suddenly forgetting how to breathe.

“I should probably go–”

“Ye.. Yeah,” she stuttered, wiping her now sweaty palms on her dress.

“Merry Christmas, Donna,” he whispered.

“Merry Christmas, Harvey” she said, voice as low as his.

As he was about to leave, his body made a halt. Turning back towards her, he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. His lips lingered longer than he intended, his subconscious taking the steering wheel over his physical form. And as soon as it had happened, he took the coward’s way out and left her standing there in a puzzled haze.

.

.

She’d been staring at it for the better part of an hour, still wrapped in its brown paper. It was staring right back, at least it felt like it. That fucking present. Nipping away at her third glass of wine, the alcohol was seeping through her veins, clouding her peripheral vision.

And that moment they’d shared just an hour before in her hallway, she didn’t know what to think of it. He’d kissed her cheek as if it was something they did on the regular. They didn’t. They barely even touched. And for a reason. Confusion filled her, as she could still feel the ghost of his five-o'clock shadow on her skin. It had etched a mark, and she didn’t want to touch it, afraid the feeling would somehow evaporate. She had finally accepted the fact she was in love with him, and she cursed herself for it. Goddamn Harvey Specter.

She got up from the couch, frustration driving her to rip the paper off her opponent in this stupid staring contest. She didn’t know what to expect, but she hadn’t expected this. What revealed itself underneath three layers of brown paper was a painting. Familiar to something she’d seen before, now hanging in the office of Elliot Stemple. But the one in front of her was slightly different. The same doll was portrayed, but instead of a duck, the doll was looking at a rabbit. The style of the painting in front of her so unique, there was no doubt in Donna’s mind as to who was its creator.

As she kept studying it, her eyes found a small envelope on the back. It wasn’t addressed to anyone, so she decided to open it. Her eyes found a woman's handwriting forming words she never could’ve prepared for.

\---

_Dear Someone Special!_

_I made this a while back wanting to thank a certain ‘someone special’, as Harvey put it, for giving me my son back, encouraging him to reconnect with me. I’ve gone so many years hoping, waiting for him to reach out, but he wasn’t ready. Not until you convinced him he was. And I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you!_

_Until recently I thought that person was Harvey’s girlfriend, but as I quickly came to understand, that wasn't the case. And though I may not know who you are, I do think I have a pretty good idea._

_I named this painting ‘To love and be loved’, because there’s no doubt in my mind that he does indeed love you. With all his heart, even though he may not be able to say it or fail to show you. But me failing him when he was younger, might be one of the reasons he’s failing you now. And I’m sorry, I truly am. You deserve more!_

_All I can say, or dare ask, is for you to be patient. Because you are the best thing that has ever happened to him. He will come around and figure that out, I am sure of it. But it might take some time. My greatest hope is that you are willing to give him that time, even though he may not deserve it._

_With all the best wishes for you this Christmas,_

_Love,_

_Lily Specter_

\---

A tear fell from Donna ‘s cheek, moistening the paper she held in her hands. Her heart was bursting and shattered all at once. He’d told his mom she was ‘someone special’, given her this gift because he still considered her to be that ‘someone special’. And while that exceeded any expectations she ever had, he had still yet to tell her, to show her how he felt and what he wanted. She needed him to tell her.

Lily had given her son all the time he needed to figure things out, and asked Donna to do the same, but she wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait. She had tried to give him an opening with that kiss in her office, but it had backfired so immensely, she would never dare to do anything like that again. And he’d explicitly told her not to.

So Donna hid the painting in her cupboard, the same way she tucked away her heart's true desire, only to be found if he was ever willing to access it. But her patience was wearing thin. She wasn’t sure if she had any more time left to give him.

FIN.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that wasn’t too sad for you! I wanted to fit this story into the already canon timeline, so even though this may have pulled on some heartstrings, we know he showed up at her door, eventually. AND NOW THEY ARE MARRIED! All is well <3 And I chose to interpret “emotions are shared” as them sharing feelings with each other, but not what they feel about each other. Hope that was okay, and that you enjoyed this story! Merry Christmas from this Secret Santa to all of you!


End file.
